Some days you just want to hate life. This morning was one of those times. I was frustrated because I was doing everything I could for my lab assessment, but the program was being quirky and I knew that my professor would take points off no matter how hard I tried. I panicked a little because I realized that not only did I have an exam today, I also have to meet with my English teacher for a paper conference, and I am most likely unprepared. I was panicked and frustrated because I was running out of time to both study and shower before my test, and I felt gross and angry on the inside and outside. I also got annoyed because as always, no one cares about paying education, English, history, psychology, etc majors for doing well the work they love like they are begging to pay computer and math geeks to do what they love; so unfair. I was frustrated because my professor who would be grading me on said exam seems like a heartless professional much of the time, and I remembered that none of my professors care about me. I also got up at 4:45am to work on the lab assessment before the written exam at 8am, and have only had a banana, a caramel candy, and water to eat/drink thus far today. I'm feeling personally inadequate and overly critical. I couldn't decide if I wanted to hide under a rock for the day or be an offended, angry grouch for the rest of ever and just sugar binge, so here I am, post-exam and pre-conference, still tired and hungry and grouchy, blogging about how hard life is sometimes.
I just caught up reading through my facebook newsfeed and feel surprisingly less angsty. Maybe I just needed to be distracted by other people's lives? The problems are still there, but they don't feel so angry and ominous now. I better keep myself distracted.
So, my husband pointed out that we're over halfway through the semester now and have just 6 weeks of classes left. Crazy!
Audiology 1 - Just had the first midterm today. I've been skipping this class quite a bit lately because 1) I've been sick a couple times, 2) it's my first class in the morning, and 3) I'm retaking this class and have already learned a lot of the stuff he's teaching. I do need to be better though. I felt surprisingly ok with the written part of today's exam (I already shared the lab portion's frustration: grades are already up for that and I got a 70%). I haven't done so hot on the last couple labs, so I probably need to start visiting the TA's like last semester, and start the labs more than 12 hours before they're due. It's still better than last semester, I guess, when I hardly turned anything in. Progress?
Audiology 2 - Class has been pretty easy since this one is just lecture and exams. We've had a couple guest lecturers lately that have really intrigued me, so that's been cool. I emailed the most recent one, actually, and have gotten 3 emails from her already and 3 additional people to contact! Who knows, I might be able to get a career out of this class.
Family history - I was kinda behind in researching, then I spent 6 hours in one day this week going through films of original and compiled records... And I still can't find any sources acknowledging or identifying the date or cause of death for my great-great grandpa! I probably need to be focusing on researching other records for class assignments, but that one still boggles me.
Speech - So far, mostly good... I think. I feel like I'm missing an assignment somewhere. But fortunately, I've stayed caught up with and gotten good grades on everything else. I've got a reading quiz coming up that I need to remember to do when I have the book.
English - I'm more or less keeping up... This class doesn't collect the homework very frequently, so it's hard to see my overall progress. We started our research unit a couple weeks ago, and I'm meeting with my teacher in a couple hours to go over what I've got so far. Hopefully I can produce something to show her by then. Both my friend and I have had a hard time finding any compelling research topics in our field, so hopefully it'll turn out ok.
So there's my academic life for now. It feels pretty dismal sometimes (usually right before a procrastinated deadline), but it'll be over with soon and I'll at least have a degree in something. I still don't know if having a degree will do me any good, but I can hope that it's better than nothing. Ugh. Time for another distraction.
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